Why be "friends"?

Monday, April 14, 2008

Why be "friends"?

So, I started using Facebook and Twitter recently. Actually, I’ve been on Facebook for a while and just recently joined Twitter.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that part of the reason I’m on these social networks is for “business purposes.” But, I am NOT on these networks in order to SELL anything. At least, not the way that you are probably thinking. If you see I have a product or service you might like, that’s cool. I’m happy to have you. If you want to be my “friend” and never buy a stinkin’ thing from me. That’s cool too.

You see, while I started doing this more or less for business reasons, I’ve found another reason.

It’s fun to make friends.

You want some stranger seeing your Facebook profile?

First, you don’t have to fill out everything in your profile. Personally, I’ve left my address, phone number and Instant Message information off. When I find someone who wants that information, they can ask me for it and I can decide to give it to them, or not.

Second, you can hide your profile or parts of your profile, even from your facebook friends. So, it isn’t like I’m allowing just anyone to see what color underwear I wear.

Third, privacy is a myth. The credit card companies generally know more about you than you do. They know what stores you frequent, what products you buy, how frequently you buy. Shoot, they probably even know what color underwear you wear! So, if people I never asked to be my friend know more about me…

The big conference.

So, let’s say you go to a conference, or a party, or any other large gathering. What are you going to do? I suppose it is possible for you to just listen to the speakers and sit in a corner the rest of the time. But, that seems to be a huge waste of time to me. Why not find a table with people that have similar interest and eat lunch with them? How about visiting a vendor’s display and striking up a conversation?

What if you could go to a conference every day and still have a “normal” life. That is, you can join the conference when it is convenient for you. So, you show up and join a table (group) that has people with similar interest and you find out more about them. Just like you would if you were at a real conference. And just like real life, you’ll end up “clicking” with some and just have others on the fringe. No big deal. That’s the way the friend thing works.

Getting to know you…

How would you get to know another person in the real world? Well, you’d spend some time doing nothing but observing them for a while. Right? I mean, you wouldn’t go up to someone and say, “Hey, let’s be friends!” and then immediately share your most intimate thoughts. (Would you?)

This is where Twitter and the Facebook “status” come in. On Twitter, you can “follow” people. This gives you a chance to observe them as they expose parts of their day to you. On Facebook, you have to be a friend of someone first, but as they update their status messages, you get to observe them too. When you become friends on Facebook, you are giving the other person permission to find out a bit more about you.

Levels of Friends

Just as in real life, I have friends at different levels. I have one or two friends I can share my deep thoughts with. They are real life friends, and I expect they always will be. I have others that I can have general conversations with. And there are a lot of people I just happen to know, but that I don’t talk with much at all.

So, while I’ve met a lot of people, both on line and off line, most of my friends are at the third level. I just kind of know them.

You might just learn something

As I’ve participated in these two social environments I’ve also discovered that I’ve learned about things I would not have ever even known existed. People post cool web sites they’ve found, things they are involved in, or just thoughts they are having. Some of it is serious. Some of it is just “water cooler chat” and for those of us that work at home, it’s kind of fun to have some shallow “water cooler chat” floating by once in a while.

Well, there you have it. A bit of an explanation of what’s in it for me. So, while I started doing this social media thing because I was told it would be good for my business, I’d probably continue to do it, and continue to increase the number of friends I have, even if I had no business that would benefit from it.